goddamnitriot:

You can not write the word “ignorance”. The future is on sale.

Push aside and laugh at the karmic tale saying it’s superstition.

the “glitchy” part in the beginning is why i’m alive

theshoutingendoflife:

jaclcfrost:

standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this fucking flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”

Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.

redspiderlillies:

gassbung:

ancient japanese proverb:

if his hair is white or gray

bet your ass he’s hella gay

but bear in mind that hair don’t lie

sure as hell he’s gonna die

pho-carrot:

a-t-r-o-q-u-i-n-i-n-e:

so I decided to stop shitposting about zero escape for an hour and went grocery shopping. incidentally i have some bad news for the local shoppers at price chopper

image

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#999 #gif #queue

toinfinityandbeyonce:

MY ANACONDA DONT

javeliner:

think about the concept of a library. that’s one thing that humanity didn’t fuck up. we did a good thing when we made libraries

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#queue

Said the Oracle to the Witch…

outofcontextdnd:

Witch: Hey, my fox familiar can talk to other foxes for local gossip.

Oracle: Yeah, but you can’t rely on fox news.

nicholasdunnes:

every time i watch cr1tikal’s five nights at freddy’s playthrough i like to imagine he’s the one guy who took the job and survived and after when people are like ‘hey you worked there what was it like’ he just sorta shrugs and is like ‘the pay was shit but you don’t have to do much’ and that’s why people keep taking the job

primadollly:

seeing people in ouija board sweaters

image

katiekatebishops:

You’re the light of my life. My precious son. My little Star Lord.

militiamedic:

bootyisagirlsbestfriend:

"go the fuck away im not dealing w ur snake shit today"

… he just slapped a fucking cobra.

rnodernbaseball:

I AM SCREAMING……im trying to clean out my room bc we are moving. so i was like ‘sweet i found my my chem cd from 8th grade!!’ and then i opened the case

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#queue

captainamericaisavirgin:

benmclemore:

somebody DO SOMETHING

i’ve added this before but this is the most important story that i have

this was published in the vancouver sun like 2 years ago, and i remember reading the paper after class while my sister was watching tv or something, and i burst out laughing when i read the headline. and so im tell her to look, and show her the article and she says “what’s a rim job” and my dad looked up at me and we held eye contact for like. a whole minute and we just had a terrible moment where he knew that i knew what a rim job was, and i knew that he knew what a rim job was and now that’s a reality that we have to face together

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